The mullet is undoubtedly the best hair style of the modern era. Nothing says “business in the front, party in the back” quite like it. Only a special kind of man is able to contain the great power...
If you haven’t played Slime Soccer yet, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. It’s the game that’s taking Towson High School by storm and I’m here to give you to the tips and tricks you need...
The night of the Oscars was going according to plan until the winner for Best Actor was announced.
The Academy issued an apology on February 29th the day after the Oscars were televised for the world...
The finest Arabian stallions have been recently imported from the residence of the king of Morocco, confirming student suspicions that Towson High is creating its very own jousting team. For months many...
Medieval Monday – Hear ye, hear ye. Towsonne High Schoole will commence this here spirit week with students dressed in chain mail and steel caps. Joust with thy friends at lunch, but just don’t forget...
“The Common Application will soon be a thing of the past,” announced CEO Paul Mott on a live web conference from the company yacht last Monday. After hearing multiple complaints about how the college...
In a surprising cabinet reshuffle, President Obama has appointed local hero General Nathaniel Towson to replace Ashton Carter as the United States Secretary of Defense.
President Obama explained that...
In a landmark event, Towson principal Charlene DiMino and General Electric CEO Jeffery Immelt announced that the General Electric Corporation would acquire Towson High School at a news conference on Monday.
Principal...
The Bishop of Rome, Pope Francis, made a surprise visit to Towson High School that was well-received by the local community.
The Sovereign of Vatican City recently made the trek from Rome directly to...
Baltimore County Public Schools Superintendent Dallas Dance has been named the third most powerful person in the world, according to a Forbes Magazine ranking.
“It’s an honor really, I didn’t...
In a move to bring uniqueness to school menu options, the Towson High Cafeteria will begin to serve wildebeest starting next week. The wildebeest, also known as the gnu, will be cooked in limited trials...
