It’s a bird!  It’s a plane! Nope… it’s just another “device.” Students can’t wait to receive the newest hunk of metal from which they will be receiving their education in the 2018-2019 school year.  

Pupils are anxiously choosing outfits that will go perfectly with the bulky computer bag that will hang around their neck and hold their most prized possession. Shoulder cramps are back in style as students get to endure yet another weight on their shoulders. Many can’t wait to build new muscle as they increase the weight of their possessions carried throughout crumbling school buildings. 

Personally, I can’t wait for snow days next year when teachers will be able to send every student their homework through the interweb so I can continue the work grind on my day off. In addition to all of this never ending, glorious work, now excuses for why you don’t have your homework due to faulty technology are a thing of the past thanks to these snazzy new devices. Students are ecstatic to complete all their homework on time and are glad they can abide by honesty being the best policy. 

The new rumor in town is that each student will also be receiving their own BCPS blue outfits to match the computer bags. It is said the outfits will be velvet track suits and each one will be signed by a BCPS celebrity of your choice. These suits are sure to increase the status of BCPS across the country and make students look super neat when sporting their new goods.  

As if high schoolers weren’t excited enough for the next school year, now they have the joy of coming back to bright screens that strain your eyes and flashy new outfits that complement the computer bags that are bigger than the freshman’s expectations for high school. Get back out there, get excited and get through summer because we get to go back to computers as soon as you know it!