The finest Arabian stallions have been recently imported from the residence of the king of Morocco, confirming student suspicions that Towson High is creating its very own jousting team. For months many students in the Towson community have been circulating rumors of a new sports team, with options ranging from shin kicking to toe wrestling.

School principal Charlene DiMino later made an announcement affirming the speculations, proclaiming that “Towson High will soon have the most superb jousting team in all the land!” Many believe that the new team was implemented to counter the already successful teams of Dulaney and Loch Raven.

Posters have also been appearing in the hallways advertising the team and imploring students to sign up. The posters, emblazoned with golden borders, show pictures of the team uniforms: gleaming silver armor and maroon shields and lances. Tryouts are expected to begin next week on the new turf field.

Some players are already running into unexpected difficulties. Participants must only speak in Medieval Latin, possibly limiting participation. Additionally, Towson’s burgundy robes are entangling jousters’ feet, making mounting and dismounting horses a nightmare.

Of course many are also hesitant to compete in a game where a seven foot long pike is moving towards one’s face at twenty five miles per hour.

Some Tips for the Tryouts:
• Opt for Kevlar plate armor instead of outdated chainmail
• Try to bring at least four goat bladders of cool spring water
• Remember your shield bearer!
• Make sure all of your medical release forms are signed before tryouts begin